Dealing with failure: How doing experiments has made me more resilient

Source: X (@ErrantScience)

To be honest, the title of this post should be “How doing science has made me more resilient”, but that is for you to judge. The subject came to me while I was on my knees inside the wind tunnel, using all my concentration on not to break anything. I started thinking about how my mind works when I do experiments, and how far I've come since I started doing experiments back in college.

It is strange when I try to put into words what I am feeling or thinking when I am doing an ultra-focused manual task. Before I start an experiment, I usually try to get into a certain state of mind where I am somehow above everything else. I don't want to feel any stress or time pressure, and my focus is solely on what I'm supposed to be doing. I usually do this by knowing what I am going to do beforehand so that I am prepared. One of my rituals is to put on my noise-canceling earbuds and listen to a podcast at a low volume so that I am aware of my surroundings. Then I just let the time go by, and I have come to enjoy this whole process and it is part of my "me" time.

This method works for me after years of practice, but honestly, it wasn't easy. I always say that to be a good scientist, you have to be prepared for failure and even get used to it. Failure in this field comes in many forms: a paper can be rejected, a proposal can be turned down, or an experiment can fail. I think the thing about the latter is that experiments often fail because of human error or something we might have overlooked in the past. I think this adds to the "I failed" feeling, because in these cases it is up to us, not up to some reviewer who may have had a bad day reading the paper, or up to the competition.

Do not underestimate the dexterity and concentration required to perform experiments. Try aligning a laser and you’ll know what I am talking about. Sometimes, things are just so small. And our hands are definitely not small enough. This means that we might spend minutes, and even hours, aligning things, or putting things in their right place, sometimes while being in a physically uncomfortable position that ends up giving us cramps. All this has to be done very carefully and slowly. It is absolutely frustrating for me when I cannot align things, or when these kinds of things come up. But these are the rules of the game.

Trial and error is an essential part when planning an experiment, but it takes time and lots of patience. And, as the name implies, it involves making a lot of mistakes. This can sometimes take a mental toll, because even though you are failing all the time, you just have to keep going. This brings me to what I call the "upper level," where I try not to be affected by failure and just keep going when I fail.

Accidents also happen. It has happened to me that just when I think I have everything ready and set, I turn around, knock something over, and BAM, goodbye experiment. Everything I worked on for the last hour is lost. That can bring up anger and bad feelings, but you have to be able to distance yourself from that frustration and think "OK, these things can happen" and move on. It can also happen that you start to run the experiment, and when you look at the data afterwards, you realize that you forgot a configuration - a good case is when this happens right before you start the experiment. This means hours and resources are lost (they are really invested) until you realize that something was wrong. It can also happen that you have miscalculated something. Or you might not even be using the right instrument. The possibilities for failure are endless.

Imagine starting the same thing all over again after having failed at X, Y, or Z. In my case, in the very beginning I usually felt frustrated, stressed, and even angry. It takes a lot of patience and resilience to keep going, but as my experience grew, I learned how to deal with these feelings and now I deal with them in a different way. At some point, I realized that I don't want to have those kinds of reactions and that patience and calmness are the key. I take it as an opportunity to do a mindful activity, to focus on what is in front of me, and if things fail, I just keep going.

As for practical considerations, I try to take regular breaks when needed. Believe me, when we're not in the right frame of mind, things just don't go well. It is better to take a break and come back later with a clearer mind. I also try to have a very balanced lifestyle: I believe that if we eat, sleep and exercise well, we are more productive, our concentration is higher and we work better.

Last but not least, I really feel that in the end, when we have the results and we have done successful experiments, it is all worth it. The satisfaction of seeing our work pay off is really great, and discovering new things is a feeling that cannot be matched.